Get my sister a beer and get me whatever Garret is having!

That is what I overheard in the Wynn casino bathroom from a cowboy on his cell phone. He had to repeat it several times, getting louder with each utterance. The final request was, "GET MY FUCKING SISTER A BEER AND..." That just about made my night. Then a guy on to my left apologetically said into his cell phone, "No. That was just some other guy in here."

I've been sick ever since returning from Vegas so have not been in the mood to write. I just had to finally share that phrase-o-tha-day.

SEEYa

Crazy Ivan

First off, here is a pic from my trip...

Trafalgar Square. I think its a little different than what you normally get in holiday photos. I just like the way it came out.

Now on to poker and the mad Russian. After returning from England, I first played poker at Paul's house where I faired well and had a good time. Kid, Kirk, and I hit up Del Taco afterward for the traditional waisting-of-time-in-the-parking-lot-eating-bad-food-when-you're-not-even-hungry session. The following night, I played at Emeliano's house in Santa Monica...the modern version of our old home game. That was a good time, too. Jeff and I got caught up after the game. That's really cool because it looked like we might never speak again after an incident in Arizona about a year and a half ago.

I finally made my "Ali-like return" to Commerce Casino on Wednesday. The place was doing well for action. Sadly, the $400 games were filled with old guys and wild Asians. I've been playing there long enough to know who to stay away from. At first glance, The $200 games didn't appear to be much better but there were more of them running so I got on that list. The game I sat in looked like it could be tough. There were a couple wild players and a few rocks so I decided to tread carefully for a while and ask for a table change if the mood didn't suit my game. I quickly picked up a tell on the man in the 1 seat. After the board cards came out, he would look at the other players who were to act ahead of him if he didn't get any piece of it. But if he caught, he would avoid eye contact, mainly looking toward his own cards and chips. I must have been the only one to notice this because everyone else kept betting in to him when he had a hand. I didn't get a chance to take advantage of this, though as we never tangled before he left.

Then the table changed a bit. One of the wild guys left as did a couple of the rocks. They were replaced by some average weak/loose players. The wild player who stuck around turned out to be really easy to play against. He missed bets in some spots and over-bet in others costing himself plenty of money. I spent about 3 1/2 hours at that table during which time I sank to $30, added on a second buy (to $230), and built back up to $725. Then the table broke. I was playing well so I decided to check out the new table just in case it was good. Turns out it wasn't.

One thing I try to avoid is crazy players. People who are likely to play any two cards at any time for any price. It turns the game into a crap shoot. They'll lose their money almost every time but they will take some from other players before that. You don't want to be the one caught under the wheels of that truck. They take from you and give to everyone else. In this case, there were two...count 'em...2 nutty Russians in the game. There was also a wild Asian guy but I knew from experience how to handle him. I should have left as soon as I identified the situation. But I didn't. Long story short, one of the Ruskies made a hit and run with $1500 and the other stuck around to suck out on me. I found A-A in the big blind. The flop was Ac-6c-7h. I made it expensive to see the turn but the UTG player called giving Ivan better odds to call as well...not that he wouldn't have anyway. Turn was an off-suit 5. I bet $100 into $160. UTG raised the same amount and Ivan called. I had $340 behind and, although I realized I could be behind, there was no actual reason for me to think I was. I had already put UTG on a big Ace so he was out of the picture. I could only hope that Ivan was on a flush draw. Perhaps moving in would get him to lay it down. Even if he wouldn't fold, calling was not the right play. I would be pot-committed and first to act on the river. (A stop-and-go doesn't apply on the river for anyone thinking about that.) My best play was to move all-in which I did.

Ivan pretended to be iritated as if he didn't like my raise and shoved his rack of chips in the middle...out of turn. It was clear to me that he was playing an angle. He was trying to make it look like he was drawing while giving the UTG player better odds to call. After a while, he did call. Ivan's chips were already in and I was begging (inside) for the board to pair. Nope. The Russian turned over 8-9. UTG mucked saying he had A-5. While he was thinking about calling, I thought about telling the UTG players to get away from it since I knew I had him beat and was pretty sure that Ivan had us both. It would have been done out of spite which is why I didn't do it. I do have respect for the game even when others don't.

The Russian had me covered. It was 4am and I was tired. The next night I went to The Bike because I heard the action was good there right now. More on that later...

SEEYa

An Exercise to Exorcise

I may have made a mistake. When I started posting my thoughts, I wanted to stay somewhat anonymous so I could write whatever I wanted. This meant I would tell few friends and no family about this site. Kid Crash and SMC are close friends to whom I end up telling pretty much everything anyway so they know. There are a few other friends also in that category. However, in recent months I may have become a little too proud of my writing and, as a result, sent a link to a couple people that I wish I hadn't.

Its not that I have anything against them. Rather I feel I have to be careful about my content. I don't want to post anything about them or anyone that they know as it could be a little too revealing. I'm not sure what. I just think there might be something. So I've written a few entries that I have yet to post because of this.

That is why I am writing this now. An exercise in simply writing. I had not planned to write about why I am writing. Instead, I resolved to start typing and publish whatever came out...interesting or not...revealing or not. After all, I have been quite absent from my own blog while having plenty to write about. My trip to England and Ireland for intsance.

Ali invited me then her sister Beck decided to get married and Ali left for America. Their dad, Patrick, would still be around to welcome me in....until he was called away on business. That left Ali's other sister, Joanna. She got stuck with the guy from America that she had never met or even spoken to. But she was cool about it. In fact, she was willing to show me around and introduce me to many of her friends. What can I say? Very cool. About one week in to my stay, I heard Jo tell a friend on the phone, "My cousin from America is here." I whispered, "I'm not your cousin." (hilarity ensued) I didn't know where that idea came from but it was probably better that she thought I was more than just some guy her sister had invited. At least until we got to know each other a little.

Strangely, my mom now tells me that we are distant cousins. I don't remember how it goes but it is through marriage somewhere way back. Whatever the relation, I felt welcomed. While I don't throw the word around lightly, I think I would call Jo a friend. That's my side of it anyway. It is hard to tell with her. She's generally nice and outgoing. So its hard to say how much of a bond there was. Time will tell. A long time, in fact. There is a lot of water between here and there so its not like we can meet for drink any old time. That's the tough thing for me. Friends are important. And being away from them aint nice. That's one of the reasons I am glad to be home.

I came back about a week early but kept it a secret so I could surprise my mom on Thanksgiving. That was fun. My sister recorded "the reveal" so we have a video of it. Then I surprised SMC, calling him at work. We met that night at the Yard for some Guinness (pretty good actually. I was worried it would pale in comparrison to what I had in Dublin) then went to see Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. The movie was a bit of a let down but I was there with the right person.

Good to be home and longing for other places.

SEEYa

COFFEE! NOW!!

This was written in a cafe in London on Monday the 6th...some thoughts from the moment...

I was trying to avoid familiar things like fast food (Burger King seems to be the most popular here), Subway (for some reason, I don't think of that as fast food), and Starbucks. I spend an hour or so in a Starbucks about 4 or 5 days each week back at home. I'm here for new experiences.

While walking around London yesterday, I found a Starbucks (wasn't looking for it; just stumbled upon it; maybe it found me). I decided it would be a good idea to remember where it was in case I found myself in withdrawal at some point in my trip.

...BTW, a couple people have already told me there are Starbucks everywhere. Well, they don't know what "everywhere" means. I've only found the one in my whole trip so far. In SoCal, you can't swing a cat (with a city-block-long tail) without knocking a freshly brewed venti caramel macchiato out of someone's hand...

Anyway, I spent a while in the National Gallery today and, after having walked through London for four hours yesterday, I fealt like I had hit the wall. I had plans to meet Jo for dinner and still had an hour and a half to kill. But I didn't feel up to anymore walking. It occurred to me that I was not far from the aforementioned 'Bucks which was also near Jo's work where we had agreed to meet.

I started looking for more reason to take this familiar path. I could easily go to one of many other coffee houses in the city that are of the same vein as Starbucks. However, I haven't had what I think of as a decent coffee since I got here. There is a slight but noticeable difference to me.

Then it hit me. What about the differences with the British 'Bucks? There are bound to be some just as most everything else here is similar but different. Since I am exploring, I need to investigate this. Turns out the place is very familiar (except that the music differs...possibly better...Riders on the Storm was just on) and the coffee is just as it should be, as far as I am concerned. I am enjoying a hazelnut latte and am, obviously since I'm writing, inspired.

That leads me to my first finding of this trip: I love L.A. That's not a knock on London, mind you. I do like it here. But I have yet to find anything significantly special about the place. Its like L.A. but different. Still, I am only one week in and have a lot of time to experience more.

(Bowie's Changes just finished playing.)

That's what I wrote while sitting in Starbucks. Afterward, I met up with Jo and she took me to Soho. Without going into detail, we walked past at least four more 'Bucks and had a great time at two bars. So already my impression was shown to be off.



SEEYa

Tally Yooooo!

Its late Saturday night in England...I ought to know. I am staying with friends in Chislehurst near Kent. Rather, I should say I am staying at a friend's home. I was invited to visit by my friend Ali who I met when she visited California during the summer. I got my travel plans set then she had to leave all of a sudden. Now she is in the States and I am at her flat.

Luckily, Ali's sister Jo stuck around and was able to welcome me. She's been great, too, setting me up at the house and showing me around town. On my first night, we stayed in since she had to work in the morning. The next night, she treated me at their local Indian restaurant which was quite nice. Today, she took me around Bromley, a nearby town that is bigger with more shops and places to eat.

Now Jo is off for the night to visit some friends she had plans with so I have the run of the place. I decided to stay in and try for an early start tomorrow. I will be taking the train in to London and start acting like a tourist. So far, I haven't taken any pictures but I'll have the camera glued to my hand tomorrow.

Much more to come...I hope.

SEEYa

Time Well Spent

The poker journey has been very interested thus far. I've had some ups and some downs. If you looked at my bankroll, however, you wouldn't guess there were any ups. After taking an extended trip down to the $200 buy-in game ($2-$5 NL Hold'Em) at Commerce because I wanted to use my edge against seemingly weaker players, I returned to the $400 buy-in game ($5-$10 NL Hold'Em). I had realized that players were equally weak in both games. There was, for a little while, a higher number of wildly aggressive players in the higher games. Alot of those freaks are still there but it turns out there are just as many in the lower games.

I had also reached the conclusion that a modest winning session at the lower level was not enough for me to walk away and book it for the night. I never overextended myself in any sessions. It just meant that I couldn't walk early after doubling or tripling my starting buy-in. After much thought about session length (playing time), I am pretty sure it is perfectly OK to leave a game after only a short time if you have accumulated a stack that you feel makes for a successful outing. I try not to factor "luck" into decisions so that's not what this is about. Its about streaks. I've played 19 hours straight without any significantly positive results for the first 15 then catching a good run of cards in the last few hours. Sessions like that would end after 19 hours, regardless, but riding out cold cards and benefiting from a hot run are key.

So what if you have a good run within the first hour or two of play? Once the hot streak has cooled, would it wise to expect it to return? True...given enough time, another streak will occur. But you could sit over a dwindling stack or cash out and pad the stats. I mean, what I've found is I don't go on runs very often. Its never a bad idea to quit while you're ahead.

So I got back into the $400 games again with a few of goals: 1) Avoid big pots with wild players except with monster hands; 2) Play position/pick spots wisely; 3) Don't play scared.

I actually came up with the third goal while I was playing scared. The table had been very aggressive all night and I had been playing extremely tight. Then I realized I had not yet tried to exploit the tight image that I had been establishing. I picked a few spots and played aggressively and it worked. I was able to salvage a night that had been going nowhere. But it is important to note that I didn't start leading out with a blind aggression. I really played smart and was rewarded for it.

I have been analyzing my play at every step of the way. There was a short time, a couple weeks, in which I wasn't very attentive while playing. I wasn't distracted by anything. I was just bored and zoning out. Fortunately, I snapped out of that. I have since been very aware of everything going on in my games. The results have been good reads, acknowledged non-reads, and timely bets and checks. I don't play perfectly, mind you, but I am very happy with what I have done.

Sadly, there are some situations that simply cannot be avoided. For instance:

In one session, the table was very loose and passive so I was able to limp from early position with J-10 (this was very early in my play that day). With 5 of us limping, I saw the J-J-10 flop with two players in front of and behind me. First positon, a middle-aged Asian man who likes to think he is very tricky, checked from the small blind to a kid in his late twenties (whom I had come to know as a somewhat solid player but doesn't really pay attention to his competitors) in the big blind. The kid led out for $30. I decided to just call and hope the others would call behind me. Both the late players folded and Mr. Tricky flat called. I was sitting on the absolute nuts. Then the worst card in the deck fell...the case 10. I say it was the case because I already thought the kid was betting his own 10. I had been hoping Mr. Tricky had the other 10 but it was now obvious that he did not.

Tricky, once again, checked and the kid bet $40. Again, I flat called expecting to chop the pot with Mr. Tricky and wanted to get as much of the kid's money into the pot to make it profitable. Then Mr. Tricky decided to get, well, cute. He stared down the kid then raised to $100. I tried not to react but I think I rolled my eyes instinctively. The kid reluctantly folded and inappropriately revealed his 10. That eliminated my only chance of winning the pot outright by representing quad 10's...not that Mr. Tricky would have actually laid down Jacks full. Anyway, I moved in for another $200+. Then Mr. Tricky went into his act. He stood up, showed his cards to the guy seated on his right, and grimaced. All things that someone with a bad hand would do. I wasn't falling for it. Then he pretended he was throwing his cards away, stopped, and pushed in a rack of chips to make the call. I gently revealed my cards as he slammed his J to the felt.

Let me just state that these are not intended as bad beat stories. They are only examples of how things have been going lately. Here's one more...

On a different night, I had limped in middle position with Q-J. The flop came 8-9-10 rainbow. Absolutely perfect. An early position player bet $25 and I called. One other person called in late position. The turn card was just terrible for me. I knew that right away. It was a Q. The original bettor now checked. I decided to find out where I was with a bet of $70. The guy behind me folded and the early position player just called. Now I put him on a J at least and, while I didn't really think he had it, possibely K-J. This river changed nothing. When he checked, my best play was clear. I also checked and showed down my Q-high straight against his bare J for his Q-high straight. Chop it up!

I've got more of this but I'll save it for another post. Don't worry. Its not all bad. I will write about some of the plays that I am proud of throughout this cold streak. I'll also tell you why I feel like its going to turn around.

SEEYa

Clementine

Occassionally, I see something on TV that stars someone in a rare appearance or makes reference to another piece of cinema. Then I see that same actor or referenced item on another show. I tend to find the coincidence immensely interesting. Then I tell a friend about it and he finds it immensely...coincidental. Damn it all! I say its interesting. An example of how far we've come that we can touch the past so simply.

This happened again yesterday. I was watching M*A*S*H (the TV show, not the movie). It was one of those episodes without any drama, all fun. The colonel surprised everyone with a movie to lift their spirits. It was an old western starring Henry Fonda called My Darling Clementine. It ends up being inconsequential to the episode as the film breaks and they have to entertain themselves until it is repaired. (OK. That was more info about the show than was necessary.)

Later that day, I was browsing the premium movie channels when I happened upon none other than My Darling Clementine (1946). Now how about that? The movie is sixty years old and I had never even heard of it before. Then I had the chance to watch it after having watch other people watch it. So I did.

I had missed the first couple of minutes but that was the part that the gang at the 4077th watched before it broke. So I was covered. As I watched, I became amazed that I had not heard of the movie before. It is pretty much the same story as Tombstone and Wyatt Earp. I love Tombstone. Its one of those movies that I can't help but watch when its on TV even though I own it on DVD.

That fact drew me into the movie even more. I wanted to see what differences there are in the story and how well it was made. I dig old westerns but the acting and staging is usually on par with the stuff that airs late night on Skinemax. This one wasn't bad though. We all know Henry Fonda was top shelf. However, I find it hard to think of him as a tough as nails gunman. But still pretty decent. Most of the characters were there as in the recent flicks but the relationships and story line are quite different. I ended up recording the last half of it because I was hungry (not from ruslin' cattle mind you but still in need of food) and had to mosey out to rangle up some chow. I'll finish watching later. Maybe there will be another reference embedded in MDC to a silent movie or something I would only find on mimeophone.

SEEYa

No Whip

Sitting in Starbucks, drinking a tall mocha...no whip...and reading The Rum Diary.
I usually sit in one of the comfy wooden chairs but opted for the boothish padded thing along the wall. Its not comfortable either.
Two portly woman sat across the way and cackled at each other's stories.
Three old woman came in. One glanced at me and wondered aloud if the store was closing...I have no idea if I figured into the question.
I finished chapter 10 and gave a friend a call. Got the machine. Left a message, as you do.
Put the book down, sat back, took a sip, and tried to figure out if I wanted to keep reading.
An ambulance passed with siren blazing. That happens most nights around here. Alot of eldery folks.
I'm back at home now. Although it doesn't really feel like home as much as Starbucks does...
Its a sick world.
SEEYa

Time to Play

I had a request to update my blog. Admittedly, it has been a while. I've been waiting for inspiration to strike. It may be on strike instead. So I'll forge on with some uninspired poker-related stuff.

Things haven't been going great for me. I still manage to play solid and make good decisions. I also recognize my mistakes...about a second after I make them. So I am doing my best. At least I can say that.

For the last few weeks, the main topic on my mind has been game selection. I realized I don't fare too well against maniacs. And there are tons of them at Commerce. So I have to tread softly. I started scouting the $400 games before electing to get on the board. This led me to choose the $200 tables more and more often. It seemed like a wise choice. I found reason to doubt that on Monday.

I arrived at 2:30pm as I normally do and took a seat in a brand new $200 game. The collection of players were very good for me. I could play my tight-aggressive game and bluff on occasion as long as I picked my spots well. That is just what I did for the better part of 6 1/2. I only missed one bet and only made one move that didn't work. I left stuck only $70. But the real bug was that my high point was +$250. That's really not bad for a $200 buy-in table but it is an insignificant amount to me. It was a lot of work getting there and it still wasn't enough.

An upswing of 125%...at a $400 table, that would be +$500. And I could book that as a good win. So I've decided I have to play higher. I need to be in the $400 game. But how do I manage playing with the nut balls? It hit me out of the blue on Tuesday. I can play at a different time. Starting in the middle of the day, most of the players in action are "players." Either that or they don't need (and therefore don't care about) money.

I used to go home after work and wait for traffic to settle around 8pm. The theory is that there are more and different players later in the night. People with day jobs only show up in the evening. Those are my prey. They don't have as much experience and still know the value of a buck. So I would now leave around 8:30 and be in action by 9pm. And I would play for as short or as long as I wanted. One of the problems with the 2pm start is that I didn't want to leave before 8ish because I would just be sitting in traffic for an hour or so. If I had a good rush within the first few hours and wanted to cut and run, I couldn't...or didn't want to. Since there is no traffic at all after my 9pm start, I can leave early if I happen to win early.

I also like the fact that I wouldn't be stuck in a casino when its nice and sunny outside. My new plan is to enjoy the daylight before hitting the road at night. Wednesday was my first go at this. In fact, I just got back. The field was exactly what I hoped for. Unfortunately, I was completely card dead but managed to come away stuck only $202. I would have kept playing but my table broke and I didn't feel like trying to learn a new table on a short stack. And maybe it just wasn't going to be my night.

He who fights and runs away...

SEEYa

A Qvicky

Poker Alert! I'm going to recap some recent goings on but without any detailed hand histories.

Poker results have been up and down for me in the past week. I started off my plan of paying cash each day before the evening tourneys with the outcome I was hoping for. First, on Tuesday, I opted for a seat in a 5NL game after waiting a while for a 10NL game and not seeing any movement on the board. It was a fortunate decision because I landed in a game full of loose-passive players and I managed to find some good cards. In my first two hours, I ran my $200 buy-in to $600. Over the remaining hour and a half of play, I worked it up to $730 by stealing.

After cashing out and paying my tournament entry, I ensured myself winner for the day. I played well in the tourney but only managed just inside of the 100 mark out of 671 entrants. But I enjoyed myself along the way.

Then, on Thursday, I returned hoping for a similar situation in a cash game and found it at another 5NL table. It seems that the 10NL is now flooded with wild, loose players who don't care about money. That's not good for me in the long run. So the 5NL may offer the best chance of finding a passive group that I can take advantage of. Again, I ran my stack up to $650 in about 3 hours. Then I grinded it up to $750 in another hour in which I didn't actually have very good cards. In the end, I cashed out for a hair over $700.

Again, I was able to book a profit before the tournament started so I was happy with that. This time, the tourney didn't go as well for me. I had a hyper-aggressive guy on my right who limped and pushed all-in over the top of my late-position raise before the flop. I figured to have the best hand but he knew I couldn't call. He made the same play at someone else with the same result then started chatting with me about how I should have done that in another spot. I stayed away from him as much as possible.

Then who should get moved to my table? None other than Heather. My god. What are the chances? And Amir was at a table nearby in a seat that put her close to him too (he had some of her action and a last-longer). Funny thing, I kept finding hands on her big blind and raised in that position several times. She gave me hell for it.

Also at my table was a kid that I was sure I had played with at Chumash. I remembered how he really liked to pull off a bluff. In talking with him and others, it became apparent that he wasn't just a kid from Chumash. He was Jeff Madsen...the wonder kid from Santa Barbara who won two bracelets at the WSOP this year. I guess his tournament style is far from his cash style because he pretty much played straight forward, looking for good starting hands.

Madsen got short stacked but managed to double through once and drag the blinds a couple more times. Then he stuck it all in again on my big blind. As it was folding around to me, I joked, "I aint afraid of you." Then I looked at my cards and instantly said I call. He had A-9. I had J-J. Mine held up. So the big story of the week is that I knocked Jeff Madsen out of a tourney. Oh...I'm also pretty sure that Kenickie (Jeff Conaway) from Grease was on the bike next to me at the gym on Friday. I'm 99% sure it was him.

Its been quite a "Jeff" week.

SEEYa

Thought Scotch

"...Because I'm allowed to."

I just finished watching City Hall. Excellent. Have you seen it? No? Well, then, come over some time and I'll watch it again with you. Its one of those flicks that makes a glass of good scotch so inviting. On Friday, I rescued a bottle of Macallan Fine Oak 10 from a friend's house. I went for two pours of it through my private viewing of the movie tonight. Good times.

I'm thinking about inviting some friends over this Sunday for a repeat screening. While I'm at it, the invite goes out to any of "my loyal 3." Leave a comment if you'd like to come.

The quote above is from Paul F. Tompkins' Driven to Drink. If you happen across it on HBO, check it out. Its a great one man show. Just the thought of it makes me want to go to the Yard.

Before City Hall, I tried watching Dancing at the Blue Iguana. I couldn't watch the whole thing because, while there are several great actresses putting forth their best renditions of screwed up stripper lives, the first 30 minutes passed without a hint of plot. Channel change.

This afternoon, I went to the local Starbucks to get a now-rare coffee and banana bread and do some reading. I finished reading The Tender Bar yesterday so today I started Hunter S. Thompson's The Rum Diary. One of the few regular workers that I know was there and he gave me a discount for now particular reason. Then the girl who was making my tall mocha caught herself as she accidentally made it with 5 shots and almost served it. I told her that I don't have caffeine much any more and, with that, I would have finished the book I just started. Got a laugh out of her with a different comment that followed.

Got my coffee and bread and was well into chapter two when she (must find out her name even though she is most likely gay), on her way out for a smoke, saw what I was reading and exclaimed, "The Rum Diary. Yeah!" We low-fived and that was that. Afterward, I thought I might have appeared standoffish since I didn't say anything beyond, "Yup." But I think since she read the book, she knows. Its all cool.

As I'm writing this, Blue Iguana is on again but its further along...still no sign of a plot.

Night all. SEEYa

Constant Revelation

I like that for a title. Came up with it on the way home from Commerce just now. You see, I'm still running bad. I think I'm playing well, making good decisions, but the cards are cold and the overall results are dismal. And when things are going like that, you end up in your own head. Always thinking about what you've done and what you should do next. I manage to avoid second guessing myself or playing scared or tilting but I find myself in a state of perpetual analysis. So I am always thinking and unable to just be in the moment. Imagine if you were constantly having revelations. It would mean you're thinking every minute of the day to arive at one and then analyze it until reaching the next one.

I feel like I'm in that space...except without the defining moments of epiphany. It sucks to be there. I am confident in what I'm doing but consistently aware of it. It makes it tough to fall asleep or focus on reading a book. And the hours at the poker tables seem like days.

The results I have been thinking about are the two buy-ins I just dropped in 7 hours of play, two negative days of play at Chumash (small losses), and another dip into two buy-ins at Commerce before that. I just came off a week of not playing so I could focus on getting in better physical shape and wait out a bit of this bad streak. Oh well.

I've got to keep at it because I know things will turn around. I'm very pleased with the way I am handling it both physically and financially. I'm planning on playing quite a bit over the next month as the California State Poker Championship tournament series will be running at Commerce starting this Tuesday. I'll be arriving early to play for cash before the tournaments start at 6pm each day. They are mostly $330 buy-ins so I'll hopefully make that each day before having to pony up. If not, I'll just try to play as many of the tourneys as I can without cutting to far into my shrinking bankroll. While I am running bad in general, I feel confident that I can work around that in some tourney play. A mixture of tight and loose and an occasional bit of luck and I may find my way to a final table or two.

A big thanks to Kid Crash for letting me stay at his place in SB while I was up there to play in the big tourney at Chumash. I also would have been stuck for the trip if not for him. I staked him in the $200 buy-in games on Thurday and Friday nights and took half his action. He played great and turned a profit for us each night. I swear, he's a better poker player than me. I saw it first hand, sitting to his left for close to 16 hours.

Its beddy bye boze time. SEEYa

The 1st Day

Scene: Commerce Casino, L.A.
Time: 2:3opm

I left the Bullitt with the valet and entered the poker room the same way I always do. It felt the same as usual, too. That was a good start. It didn't take long to get a seat as there were five 5-10NL tables and one must move running. Fortunately, the must move turned to a regular table after a little while and I never had to move. While many players at Commerce constantly change seats and tables to find a lucky spot, I know the way to win is to know as much about your opponents as possible. That takes time. So I was happy to sit tight at table 7, seat 2.

These players made up a weak group of limpers that has become more common as of late. There are pluses and minuses playing with a group like this. A minus is when so many players limp in, a late position raise (usually from me) must be higher than normal. With no limpers ahead of me, my standard raise is to $30. With one limper, $35. Two limpers, $40. The higher the preflop raise and the more callers, the more expensive it is to play after the flop. There were a few occassions when there were 4 or 5 limpers when I found a hand like A-Q or T-T in late position. I had to try to thin the field. Unfortunately, these guys were all making the typical play of limp-call-any-raise-with-any-hand. So it went to the flop four or five handed several times.

In one early hand, I was replying to a text msg from Kid when I looked to find Q-Q. With two limpers, I raised to $40. The BB and both limpers called. The flop was K-8-3 rainbow. I thought momentarily about giving up on the hand but everyone checked to me and I decided to do the right thing and continue with a bet of $65. Only the blind called. I knew I was toast. After we both checked the turn, I was sure he would bet the river. But he checked. There was no value in betting there so I checked, too. He showed K-4o. That is just the kind of player he is. He had made up his mind to call me down with no kicker, thinking he was beat, giving me credit but not showing it.

The very next hand, I woke up with K-K. Again two limpers so I made my standard raise. This time, the button called so I didn't have position. Then both limpers called and we headed to the flop four-handed again. I did not want to see an Ace. The flop was pretty good for me with Q-J-8 and two hearts. It was checked to me and I almost just pushed all in with my last $190. Instead, I paused to consider the possibilities. Certainly, anyone holding T-9 would be slow playing it. But I didn't think anyone had that. I just didn't read that kind of strength. My only concern was that the button might have called with J-J and had me drawing almost dead. As I thought about this, I realized there was no need to move all-in. It would be an overbet that would likely appear weak. Plus, anyone that would call that bet would also call a smaller one. But a smaller bet that left me pot-committed could actually convey more strength and I would not necessarily have to get all my chips in even if someone called.

I decided on $120 into the $175 pot. Strong enough, I thought. Nope. The button called and I thought my fear of a set was reality. The other players folded and we were heads up. I asked him if he had a set to which he appeared to almost reveal his hand. But I was not all in so that would have been a slight mistake to my advantage. The turn was a J that didn't change anything except lead me to think he would only have me with a set of Q's. I checked thinking my opponent would realize I was pot-committed and just check if he didn't have a set or better. However, he did bet and I quickly called. The river was another 8. That could not have been good for me. I turned up my Kings and he slowly mucked. Phew! Nice big pot.

Back to the limper issues...A plus: I really like when players constantly limp on my BB. I take advantage of this terrible play by playing my hand blind and checking all the way. I won't look at my cards until someone bets. Most of the time, I have nothing so the play to that point is exactly how I would have played had I known what I held. Sometimes, I wake up with a big hand. Sometimes the nuts. Then I can call of raise and take down a decent little pot considering that I haven't had to expend any energy up to that point.

This happened in a hand involving six of us including the guy I went heads up aginst with my K's (he looked like a miniature version of Chris Moneymaker...Moneymaker Jr...I'll call him MMJ). The flop was 8-7-3 rainbow. The turn was another 8. The river was a Q. We had all checked to this point. Then MMJ bet $25 into the $60 pot. It folded to me and I finally checked my cards -- A-8. Beatiful. I quickly reviewed the board to make sure there was no straight or flush possible then raised to $75. He called instantly and slapped down his Q-6 as if he thought it was definitely the best hand. No, sir. That ridiculous limp in with Qs-6s cost you $110 in total. I thank you.

This happened again later on with MMJ when he bet $20 into a board of Ac-Qc-5c-4d. I found A-5 for two pair and decided to call since he probably only had a flush draw at best. We both checked the turn and he was disgusted at what he saw. Sorry, sir. That was your own bad play that cost you another $30.

After that he started mumbling "he can't be beat," as if I had been sucking out on him. He also mumbled about the my K's hand, saying that he had two pair and I caught an 8 on the river. I got his attention (he was wearing headphones) to ask him which hand he was talking about. He said he had two pair when I had kings and the 8 that paired the board on the river had saved me. I humored him but knew he was full of it because the board had paired jacks on the turn. He was only fooling himself.

There is one more hand that I want to write about but I need to get going. I have to hit the gym before the card room today. I felt like crap after only 6 1/2 hours of play yesterday and attribute that to my decayed physical condition. I've got to get back to working out regularly.

By the way, the net result for my first day was a moderate winner of $346. My high point was +$710 but things went quite stale and no one showed any respect for my tight play. Still, a good positive start.

SEEYa

"Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had." -- Tyler (Fight Club)

Tomorrow is the first day of my new life. At least it didn't take Tyler Durden holding a gun to my head to get me to do it. Although, if you've been reading, it may have felt like a gun to your head.

Today is the last day on the job. Last day of the cross-county commute. Last day in a cubicle. Last day in the rat race...for at least a little while. Hopefully forever.

I just got back from a farewell lunch with my coworkers. However I may have made it seem, they are nice people. I like them. (Of course, I can say that because none of the ones that I don't like were at lunch.) During the meal, they asked what I was planning to do and I told them. It came as a surprise to all because I haven't been advertising the fact that I will be playing poker full time. I was happy to find good responses and well wishes from each on them.

It turns out, everyone wishes they could take a similar chance. A chance at something that isn't in a corporate building. On something that they really enjoy and maybe love. I also realized that I can stay in touch with a few of the more likable people because they play tennis together several times each week. I've played with them a few time, too. So I'll try to meet up with them on the courts now and then.

More and more, I am sure it is the right thing for me to do. It starts tomorrow. But it seems like I've already been doing it for a while. I've certainly been preparing for a long time. Just a few more hours and no more alarm clock. Woo Hoo!

SEEYa

She's Standing Again

I finally finished installing the new leaf springs on the Mustang. She's not walking just yet, but she can stand. The rear end is assembled and the wheels are on. There were a lot of little road blocks along the way. That and little daylight available when I would work on it in the evenings made for a long, trying but ultimately rewarding effort. I'll soon post some pictures of all my work so far. Next I have to finish assembling four wheel dollies so I can easily move the car around in the garage and out of the way so my mother can park when I am not working in there.

Meanwhile, the days are ticking away slowly toward my new career. There is a lot to be done at work but its not making things go by any faster. Oh, well. Only four more days on the job.

SEEYa

The good/bad/good-again news

I haven't been writing about poker for a while because I started to feel like I could be coming off as a fraud. Constantly dwelling on plans to quit my job and play poker full time. It truly was my intention to follow through with everything I wrote about. And now...

The deed is done. I gave notice at work yesterday. In less than two weeks, I will begin a new chapter in my life. First and foremost, this will be an indefinite break from the corporate routine. I have wanted to simply take time off for a long time. Fortunately, I have poker. And I'll find out if my abilities in the game can sustain me financially. So I might be shopping my resume' in 6 months or I might never have to again...or I might find something entirely different that I love to do.

Its a scary and exciting time. Time will tell.

...more to come...

SEEYa

Still Card Dead

I'm supposed to be writing a tech spec and/or figuring out how to run FirstLogic from DataStage right now. But I don't much feel like it. Instead, I'm going to write about Monday night.

In follow up to my last post, I did, in fact, go play poker at Commerce. When 8:30pm rolled around, I was in between getting in the car and staying planted on the couch to watch nothing in particular on TV. I finally hit the street at about 8:50pm. No traffic so I arrived at the Commerce Casino's valet near 9:20pm.

I have a little superstition that has developed around my arrivals at Commerce. When I leave my car at the valet, I could use any of three casino entrances. The furthest is a short cut along the driveway and would put me right at the lower section where I play. The nearest entry is right next to where I drop off but leads to a hotel registration desk just north of the top section. This is where I normally enter. I realized some time ago that I could not recall ever going through another entrance. Couple that with my history of generally running good and leaving winner at Commerce and a superstition was formed.

But I'm not really superstitious. So this time, when I caught myself heading for the middle thoroughfare, I opted to continue on via its revolving door. Maybe that was the root of my demise...but I don't think so.

I'm still card dead. Its been a week and a half now. That's not very long but, given my intended venture into professional play, its hardly reassuring. Let me be clear. I'm not running bad. If that were the case, I'd have lost a significant amount in my recent sessions with big hands running into bigger hands or big draws. In contrast, I have not been getting cards to even consider playing. So I haven't found much trouble. For instance...

A couple Fridays ago, I went to the Bike. I had not played at the Bike in at least a year and was happy to find a lot of improvements in the top section (that's where they run 3-5NL and above). The tables and chairs are nice and the dealers and floor people seem to really know what they are doing. Unfortunately, I'm not all that fond of the games they run. Their 5-10NL (my game of choice) has a $500 min buy-in with no max. So, depending on the table, it can require a minimum of $1000 in play to play it right.

I put my name of the list for the two 5-10NL games that were running anyway. But after waiting ten minutes, watching both tables, I realized I was not likely going to get a seat at one of them for quite some time. The action was slow and most players seemed very rocky. So I opted to put my name on the list for their 5-5NL game as well. It has a spread buy-in from 300 to 500 so at least there is a cap. But I feared those blinds would make it like a 3-5 game.

After another 5 minutes or so, the board for 5-5NL had grown enough to start another table. I was one of the first to appear and snagged the 2s. Once under way, I realized that this was definitely not like 3-5. Several of the players were aggressive with their preflop bets, typically $40 with no one limping in front, and that style was adopted by the more passive players. It turned out this would play more like a 5-10NL game...good. Unfortunately, as I have been whining about, I didn't find many playable hands without a raise ahead of me. In the long run, I managed to work out a $150 winner for 5 1/2 hours of play.

On the following Wednesday night, I headed back to the Bike. My plans to play tennis with John had fallen through so I figured I might as well do something productive. Poker is productive, right? Right. This time, there was only one 5-10NL game running and there were two open seats. I decided against playing it because players appeared to be giving no action. Everyone was sitting around waiting for the preflop nuts. Once again, I got into a new 5-5NL game. Still card dead, I played well and minimized my down swing through 2 1/2 hours. In the last 30 minutes there, some players packed up and a couple others sat out leaving us 4 handed. We played on for a few rounds which was to my advantage. I had a clear edge on these guys short-handed. I dragged the blinds a few times and got action in one pot that I was able to take down on the turn. After that, the other players decided it best to wait for the 'out' players to return. They did shortly and we played a few hands 6-handed. But I still wasn't finding any cards and I was stuck so I decided to bug out. I cashed out, stuck $160.

Instead of going home, I headed for Commerce. I didn't think there would be much action there because tournaments were running at the Bike. But it was worth a short trek to check it out. Unfortunately, the short trek took a long time. I had never taken the drive between the Bike and Commerce before so I didn't know there is no 5 south connector from the 710 north. I blew past the 5 and turned around at the next off-ramp. Good news: There is a 5s connector from the 710s. How in the...!? Whatever. I made it to the 5 only to find gridlock. The two right lanes were closed nearing the Commerce exit. Turned out they were closed at the exit and it was closed, too.
I started thinking that this entire journey might be a sign that I should just call it a night...but, like I said, I'm not really superstitious and I don't believe in signs (especially the one for the 5s). One exit later and I was back-tracking to the casino. Pulled up to the valet, went through the usual entrance, walked past the top section and was pleased to find the lower section buzzing. However, there was a list for 5-10NL and it was already late. I just wanted to get into action. So I took an immediate seat in a 3-5NL game. I figured I could at least take advantage of the lower class of players even if I didn't get any cards.

And that's the way it went. I played for another 2 1/2 hours and cashed winner for the room but stuck $30 overall. Not bad considering one of the rare big hands I found, KK, fell to pocket JJ. I had disguised my hand preflop by just calling a raise in position. Then I raised him on a Q-high flop. He called and checked a rag on the turn. I moved in for my last $120 into a $240 pot. After sweating over it for about a minute, he called saying, "If you've got queens, you're good." I showed him my kings to which he did not appear happy. The river brought a J and he gleefully turned up his cards to show the winning set. It didn't phase me as I reached into my pocket for a re-buy. The rest of the players at the table were more surprised by the way I handled it than the way the hand came out. I later told them, "Its nothing we haven't seen before. There were two jacks in the deck. So it wasn't a 'miracle.'"

That was my first loss in quite some time. But I was happy with my play and the fact that it was only a small loss. Now we come to Monday. I felt a need to play poker and try to expell the bad-card demons. I arrived at Commerce casino with no trouble this time out. And I landed in a 5-10NL game right away. To my delight, there were a ton of chips in play at this full table. Two guys had over $800, one had about $1100, another had $1800, and the big stack had $2800. That's pretty damned good for a $400 fixed buy-in. Fortunately, these guys were wild and good to give action. Unfortunately, I still wasn't finding any cards. It started to have a physical effect on me, too. I didn't have much to say. Its not my style to sit quietly in a game. However, I would have found it difficult to get a word in since most of the players at this table were motor mouths. My mood was worsened by the subject matter: bad beat stories and critiques of every hand (if you had blah blah, I would have blah blah).

Eventually, the table got down to 5-handed and we asked the floor man to find us seats. There were plenty available for us. I got first pick after drawing the high card (best hand I found all week). So I spotted an empty 3s in a game that was full and appeared to be pretty soft. It was a good read as there were no tough players. But, like the previous table, these guys were yapping about bad beats...and my streak continued. There were raises ahead of me and I woke up with junk. It became apparent that limping was allowed in a lot of pots so I tried to get involved in position with small-mid suited connectors and any suited aces. Too bad I kept finding 6-2o and J-3o. Not much limping for me.

Then I found a couple good starters. After two limpers, I raised to $40 with A-Qo in middle position. Two callers behind then one of the limpers moved all-in for about $240 more. That would just about put me all-in, too. I laid it down, one person called (with 6-4o) and the raiser showed A-Ko. Good laydown on my part but it was painful.

A couple rounds later, I found 9-9 in middle position. There were already three limpers. I decided not to raise because I would have to make it $50 and didn't want to create such a big pot knowing that I would get action. So I joined in the limp-fest. One other guy limped in behind me then one of the blinds raised to $50. I had already planned to call a reasonable raise. This was it. I would also have position on the raiser. However, one of the early limpers reraised to $150. I counted down my chips just because I hadn't had anything to think about all night. But I wasn't ever going to call. I folded. So did the first raiser. The reraiser showed J-J. Another good laydown but still painful.

Two hands later, I picked up T-T. I opened raised to $35 (the extra $5 was a mistake because I thought there was one limper). One player called then the button raise $100 more. I went into the tank to see if I could muster up some gamble or find any reason to put this guy on less than a big pair. At that point, I would have pushed all-in if I thought he had A-K. But I new he had a monster. I folded as did the other player and the button showed K-K. This is gettin' re-god-damned-diculous!

It was more of nothing for a little while longer before I decided to pack it in. I cashed out loser $261. Not bad considering I was just sitting there, bleeding all night. Most people would have dropped a couple buy-ins. So I'm proud of my patience and control. But I still need to get this monkey off my back. A solid winning session is in order. Don't look for it too soon, though. I won't be able to play again this week. But with no plans for the weekend, I'll look forward to another trip to Commerce on Saturday. Pray for me.

SEEYa

Might as well play, I guess

I was planning on working on my '68 after work today. I got in a couple days on it last week and left off needing a brake tool that I happened to have back at my place, not where the '68 is. Low and behold, I forgot to bring it with me today. So I can't make any progress on the car.

Those who like to interpret things like this might say that I sabotaged myself because I didn't really want to do it today. That may be so but it is Monday and what else is there to do? Hmmm. I guess I could go down to Commerce. Even if its dead there, I could still get in a little bit of action which I have been lacking as of late.

I've only played live twice in the last week and a half. And I've been running sort of bad...card dead. I can handle that, though. I think I've been playing really well even without cards. Right now, I just need to get out and throw some cards and chips around. It feels good once I'm there. I let the clock and the outside world go and focus on the task at hand. Win or lose, it seems like the right place to be.

You know what I mean?

SEEYa

"Something That I'm Not"

That's just what I'm listening to right now. It's been a while since any music has actually hit me...cut deep. While at work, I'm listening to Megadeth's The System Has Failed and I'm feeling pretty damn good. The most relaxed I've been in several days. I think I'll listen to Youthanasia in the car when I go for lunch.

I remember when Cryptic Writings came out. I was still living in San Diego. I swear I listened to that CD every day for 3 months. Not exclusively, but a lot. Some of the songs and the overall vibe from that album really synced with me. It was a great time. Gigantour 2006 is on the horizon so maybe another great time will follow. I ended up missing G.2005...I don't remember why...I only remember that sucked to have to pass on it with tix in hand. So I will be there this year by hook or by crook. I'm also going to try to go to G.2006.EU if Dave takes it to Ireland.

I've been intending to go to IRE soon anyway. That would be a perfect trip.

For now, I'm still here at work with nothing to do. Like I mentioned, I feel a hell of a lot more relaxed today. That is partly do to some comforting words from friends who believe in me but aren't pushing. That's awesome. One thing that was in the back of my mind was the upcoming August Extravaganza Tournament at Chumash. Its the same longer-format tourney that they run three times during the year but they've raised the buy-in to $500. $350K guaranteed prize pool with, I think, $100K guaranteed for 1st.

The thought of starting off my career as a poker player with a tourney expense is not what I had in mind. I'm going to play it for sure. But, since I've never gone deep in this one, I think of it as $500 in the hole (almost down the drain). I'm completely confident with my abilities and chances to cash and even win the tourney. But let's be honest...with a field of 700 to 800, anything can happen.

At any rate, I've settled into the idea of waiting for my Bullitt to be repaired before making the big jump. During the meanwhilst, I'm going to play cash games at the Bike and Commerce and try to play a couple tournaments. I'm going to start it all off by purchasing my seat for the Chumash event (they have made it available online). I'm hopnig for a decent run in the next two weeks to pad my bankroll and help me feel more secure in my plan, leading toward the final decision.

SEEYa

What? Oh, OK.

I've been avoiding writing today (and my mini post yesterday was just an attempt to appease the loyal3) but here it goes. I don't want to blow any credibility that I may have because I wrote that I was going to give notice at work last Friday. Didn't do that. Then I said I was going to do it on Monday. Didn't do that.

The truth is, it's the only thing I think about now. Can't get it out of my head...actually, I'm not trying to get it out of my head because I really do want to quit and play poker full time. I would say that the car accident has thrown me off track except that I'm not sure if that is true. But I think it has had some effect. I know I'll feel better after I get my Bullitt back and have paid all the bills that come of it. Unfortunately, that could take another week and a half. With my mind spinning and my stomach wrenching over this decision, I might have a complete breakdown before then.

I swear I'm going to do this. I've always felt I was meant to do more with my life than just work from 9-5 (or 10:ish to 4:30ish in my case) like perform. My father was an actor and singer. He was amazing. I know the feelings he had when he was on stage in front of an audience because I've been there myself. I've acted and sung although not with much talent. I've also played music for a crowd...when I was a kid. I still tinker with toons from time to time.

I don't know if I will ever become a real actor or musician. That's not even on the top of my list. But I know I won't ever do it until I leave this cubicle. I love poker and I'm really good at it. It can also be a means to performing because I would have more time (on my own schedule) to play quitar and sing and get involved with an acting group.

I won't lie. This whole thing is a bit scary. But I will do it, damn it! More when there is more.

SEEYa

Embrace who you truly are, and the rest will follow...

...That is a quote from Wil Wheaton. It sums up everything that I have been trying to zero in on about myself and life.

That's all. I just wanted to post that here for show and tell and future reference. I also wanted to give Wil credit for that piece of inspiration.

SEEYa

Remember...Friday is Chicken Day

I had made the decision yesterday that I would give my notice at work today, Friday. I mean I was really happy to have come to that point. I was ready to do it. I still am. But I'm not going to. Allow me to explain the circumstances.

I found myself in back-to-back meetings yesterday that would normally bore and frustrate me. Instead, I was quite relaxed knowing that I would not be doing this anymore in just over two weeks. It fealt really good.

Then my day took a somewhat tragic turn. On my way home, I was involved in an accident. A car made a left turn in front of me as she was trying to cross traffic and enter a commercial driveway. Other stopped cars gave her room to get through but there was no one in my lane. So I was cruising. Neither of us saw the other until she had pulled into my lane. She slowly came to a stop and I down-shifted and slammed on my brakes. I could see I was not going to stop in time so I quickly checked to see that the sidewalk was clear of pedestrians (there was a wall of cars on my left). I had an opening to try and make it into the driveway that she had been heading toward. letting off the brake to allow the tires to grab, I made a hard right getting as much into the driveway as I could. But her car was blocking enough that I had to send my right side up the curb just prior to the driveway.

The Bullitt slammed over the curb hard but was able to narrowly avoid contact with her car. Drifting into the parking lot, I was in an expected state of shock. I was even more shocked when the other driver pulled up next to me and stopped. She asked if I was OK. I said yes but, after looking at the right side of my car...maybe not. Both passenger side rims were damaged and the front tire flat. She thought she had done nothing wrong because the others cars had let her through. She also said she was late for class (a college student) and had to go.

At first, she didn't want to give me any of her info. She is young and inexperienced and didn't want to do anything that she shouldn't. I gave her my phone so she could call her father but she could not get a hold of him. I told her again that I needed her info. When she continued to avoid it, I indicated that we had to or "the police would have to become involved." I wasn't trying to threaten her. It was just a fact. If she tried to leave me high and dry, I would simply get her plate number and give them a call.

Fortunately, there was a man in the parking lot who saw the accident and assured her that what I was saying was correct. He was also a witness and handed me his name and number. That was a big relief right off. Eventually, she and I did exchange all our information. She also managed to contact her father. I had no problem waiting for him to arrive since I wasn't going anywhere until I changed the front wheel out for the spare. It was only for her peace of mind that I waited on him. Of course, when he finally arrived, he asked what happened and told me my damage was my fault. I said, "Is that why you came here? To tell me it's my fault?" He said a few other things as I waved him off and went to my trunk for the spare tire. And, even though it was my fault according to him, he stepped back over to me and said he would "help" me with some of the repair. Rrrrrriiiiiight.

No way, man. I know better than that. I used to be a claim investigator/adjuster. I'll get it repaired faster through my insurance and they can go after her or her insurance provider.

That night, John came over to play tennis. I told him about my plan to quit my job today. He was surprised at first but understood what I was talking about. I said I might chicken out and he replied, "You won't." That was a great vote of confidence. But he also suggested another option...ask for a leave of absence from work. I had read up on this in the HR manual but didn't really consider it a viable option. Its generally intended for people who need family leave...pregnancy or death. But, then again, it couldn't hurt to ask if I am going to quit anyway. So I'm going to do that.

However, seeing as I had to come in late today so I could take my car to a shop and get a rental, I don't think this is the best day to be requesting a LOA. I'm also feeling a little vulnerable knowing I'll have to pay for some of the repair to my car (they prorate the value of the tires based on wear). So a paycheck is a welcome concept today.

I stewed over this decision last night. Lying in bed for a couple hours, I decided to get up and check out my finances. I looked online at my bank balances and counted all the cash I had on hand. I hoped knowing exactly where I am at now and will be at in a week would help ease my mind. It did somewhat.

But I have decided to remain 100% employed for the weekend. I'm going to request LOA on Monday. If they aren't agreeable, I will give them two weeks notice. My pulse is racing a bit just thinking about it. Its a very exciting time.

SEEYa

Some Reasons to Do It

A day later and I honestly feel closer to taking the leap. I'm thinking along a more positive track today. Here are some reasons why I should feel OK with trying that I tend take for granted:

1) I have been a consistent winner in NLH cash games over the last year and have amassed a nice little bankroll while only playing occassionally. I know I'm better than most players and have as good a chance as anyone to be successful.
2) I have friends and family that I can count on. I don't intend to let myself get down to the felt but its good to know I have people who care and will lend a hand if I ask. (Although I'm not the kind of person to borrow from anyone so I just won't let it go that far.)
3) I know many people who have jobs outside of the corporate world that pay much less than mine. They get along just fine. Hell, I used to get along just fine when I was making a third as much and living in the red. One friend in particular, my bfam, is a source of inspiration. He doesn't make a ton of money and doesn't even like his job (but he does like the people he works with...that's important). Yet he keeps on keepin' on. And he has a better attitude than I.

So its all about taking life by the throat instead of letting life stand with a foot on yours.

It also dawned on me that it would help if I disliked the people that I work for as I have in almost every job prior to this. But here, all the bosses with whom I have any contact are good people. If I still worked for DickHead, I'd be out the door before I could click 'Publish Post.'

Stay tuned. This is getting interesting.

SEEYa

Perhaps a New Outlook Will Get Me There

No longer does a day go by when I don’t think about quitting my job and playing poker full time. But there are several pieces of logic that seem to give me enough reason stay in my 9-5 rut. They are:

1) A steady pay check with medical benefits. I rarely use the benefits but it’s nice to know they are there.
2) A healthy paying job. I get paid very well, even for what I do. From what I have seen online and around me, I don’t think I will likely be able to find another company that pays as well as this one does for what I do. I only consider this on the possibility of having to re-enter the work force should the poker career not work out.
3) They pay me to do almost nothing. I’m in the office right now. That should be a good indication of how little there is for me to do. After a week of vacation, it took a whopping 10 minutes to get caught up on my email. Now I’m back to pay-to-play…sort of. As always, I can’t really complain about that.
4) I’m more skilled than almost everyone around me. That is only a plus in the job security column. (It’s also a negative because I’d rather be surrounded by people who I respect and can learn from.)

Those seem like pretty good reasons, right? They are. But I came up with them to hold myself back. To avoid possible financial failure. I’ve been living in the black for so long that I don’t know how to take risks anymore. So I have been trying to understand how other people take risks by gathering insight into how they look at it.

So far, it just appears to be a difference in personality types. I am cautious and calculating and have never been entirely on my own. While in Maui, I met several people who had uprooted and moved to the Island weeks or days after their first visit. I’ve never been able to do anything like that. The closest I ever came was in college. But even then I only went from L.A. to San Diego. I drove home a lot so I didn’t really move away. And I knew it was only temporary. When I graduated, I moved back home. Anyway, I could see myself living in Maui or Vegas but I am not likely to make such a leap. It’s just the way I am.

There was, however, a concept I picked up while on vacation. It came from one of the transplants I met. He said something along the line of “I know I’ll get what I need to survive.” I’ve heard ideas like that before but it is usually from a 12-stepper who is still trying to believe it himself. It also usually has a spiritual connotation like “God will provide.” But, this time, it was different. While he is a 12-stepper, it probably helped that this guy is a techie by trade like me. It seemed like he meant that he knows his own ability to perform and earn a living based on his own merit. I like that because I think I am capable of adapting, adopting, and improving. So I can hold my own. When push comes to shove, I will be OK.

But that is not enough to get me out the door. I need a different perspective. And I think I have found it.

What if I wanted to start a business of my own, making and selling a product that I love? (One of the down sides to my current job, or any that I’ve held, is that I am not emotionally vested.) Let’s say I know what the product is and how to make it. I also have the means to start the business, i.e. capital. All of that would put me ahead of millions of people who do not like their jobs but don’t know what else they might want to do. I wouldn’t be stuck and it would be a shame if I stayed where I was and wasted my abilities.

That is kind of where I am now. I know what I want to do and have the knowledge and means (stake) to do it. Couple that with the “I know I’ll get what I need” concept and I could go bust in 3 months but still land on my feet. I have no reason to think otherwise.

My Loyal Three know I have written about this before. But I swear I am so much closer to actually doing it. I wrote this so I won’t forget.

SEEYa

Aloha, bitches!

I'm back. What's that? You didn't know I was gone? Well that's probably because I didn't write about my vacation before leaving. I spent a week in Maui and did mostly nothing. It was glorious.

Each day I woke up around 10am (I love living without an alarm clock) and started things off with a complimentary breakfast buffet. Then I headed back to my room and let the food settle for about half an hour before going to work out. The resort's fitness center is the best I have ever seen in a hotel. And the lack of other people in the gym made my time in there like a vacation within a vacation. After working out, I lied on the beach or poolside for 1 or 2 hours. Oh, man, am I ever tanned.

It was everything I had hoped for...and less (in this case, less is more). But now I'm back at work. As I expected...still nothing for me to do. And with most people having taken the day off to make for a 4-day weekend (including July 4 tomorrow), I won't be hanging around here for long. This evening, I'll be off to Scott's house to see my godson and watch fireworks.

I've already written more than I had expected since I'm not really in a writing mood. But I intend to resume later and go into detail about my time on Maui. Oh, yeah... I will also be writing about a poker tourney/party for my friend Jeff's 30th. Kid and Joe were there and we played cards 'til the sun came up.

SEEYa

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

I went to Chumash with Kid Crash last weekend and have been meaning to write about it. I'll do that later today. But right now, I want to vent.

There are two finance nerds arguing near and across my desk (depending on where one of them is pacing at the moment). What's worse is that they are not actually arguing. They are in complete agreement, just bitching about some other people. They are ga-hay. I'd shut 'em down if I had any work to do. I can hardly complain that they are interrupting my blog-reading.

Save it for happy-hour, ladies!

SEEYa

Variance

I haven't played poker for over two weeks. Following my all-nighter at Morango with Kid, I decided to take two weeks off. Not because I was running bad or playing poorly. On the contrary, I feel I have been playing very well. And I have not had a losing streak recently...just an occassional, small loss.

But I have been thinking about the possibility that I have been playing too loose or fast or open. By that, I me to say I may have allowed some leaks and tells to creep into my game. So I figured it would be a good idea to step away for a bit and come back with a fresh perspective. I needed to straighten out some other stuff in my life anyway. Then I would be able to focus on Poker.

The end of the planned fortnight respite was last Monday. But, of course, fate can be like any of my ex-girlfriends...a bitch. I ended up scheduled for a training class at work all week that started at 9am each day. This impedes my normal flexibility of going in to work at my own pace. So playing cards until midnight or later was out. I'd have to stay home and get to sleep at a normal hour if I was going to make it to class on time.

That is what I have done. No poker. Just work(class). This sucks. But, wait! I've strayed from my intended topic...my poker game.

My plan unpon returning to action was an experiment. I would go to Commerce and play 5-10 NLH for five straight days (Mon - Fri). I know this will be difficult simply because I don't like making that drive all the time. And I probably won't want to be around all the Man-Ass for so much time without a day or two break to rid myself of the mental stench.

Fortunately, it seems the extra time away from the game has provided more time to think about it. And just the other day I recalled a concept that had slipped my mind: Variance. (It is a generally accepted theory so I wouldn't add it to my list of Truths). Variance is key to long-term success when employing gaming theory. While I do look at my game as a collection of sessions over a long period, I have been falling short of applying it to the individual sessions. As of late, they have only been around 4 hours each. I think an individual session should be nearing 7 hours or more to lower the average effect of luck and increase the net effect of skill.

So going to the card room each weeknight after work wouldn't be a perfect experiment anyway. I would only get 4 hours of table time in on average. But I still intend to try it. Next week might not be good because work will likely kick my ass as I recover from a week away from the office for training. Then I'll be in Maui for a week (but I aint complainin' bout that). It may be several weeks before I can devote a significant amount of time to poker.

I will, however, get out and play a serious session or two within the next few days. I might even head up to Chumash this weekend. What say you, Kid?

SEEYa

Darsky's Poker Truths

The following is a list of poker-related thruths. I hesitate to call them "Laws" because they have not been scientifically tested and I'm not that arrogant...take my word for it...I'm not. They are kind of quidelines but not quite rules. At any rate, I have discovered them through my experience at the tables so I know them to be generally true...hence, "Truths." Take 'em or leave 'em:

1) No one wants to believe they are beat -- Even against the tightest players, no one wants to believe the bettor has actually made a hand. They may lay down their own cards to a bet because they did not make a hand, but they will usually does so reluctantly. They expect that any preflop raise followed by a flop bet is an indication of a bluff with overcards.
***How do you use this info?: If you make a raise before the flop, follow up with a bet on the flop [unless you have good reason to think you are behind and your opponent(s) will not fold]. Do this whether you have hit it big or entirely missed. It disquises the strength of your stronger hands. You will get action with big hands more often than not.

2) Look to your left before calling -- From time to time I find a mediocre hand that I want to try limping in with. It usually happens from the small blind when I can play almost any hand for a discount. Trouble appears when the player to my immediate left raises behind me. Suddenly, instead of limping, I've thrown away money on a hand that I am not willing to play for a raise.
***Yeah? And? So? What?: While many players wait until the action gets to them before looking at their cards, some will go to them while waiting for the person on their right to act. Sometimes, a player will go so far as to pick up chips for a raise. What a great tell! All you have to do is look to your left...then lay it down and save some coin.

3) The Man-Ass Theorem -- People! Please! No. It stands for "Maniacs and Assholes." Card rooms are filled with peolpe who fall into this classification. They tend to be wild and aggressive. Plenty of ego in play. They bet big and call big. They like to trap and love to bluff. During the course of a hand, money means nothing to them (its after they lose that they tilt).
***What do you do with these future felons?: Be careful. Don't bluff into them too often. The #1 Truth applies to them which means they will call often. Then you won't know where you are in the hand as it's hard to put them on a hand or draw. In other words, pick your spots.

4) Trust your reads -- You may be wrong and suffer non-profit or a negative hit in any particluar hand. But one should always try to act based on informed decisions. If you call when you think you are beat or fold when you think you have the best hand, why bother making reads. And why bother getting involved at all. I've been there...I'll be there again...so I know from whence I speak.
***How do you use this?: Trust your read and be satisfied in knowing that you did what you did for a reason. Then learn from the results of those reasons.

I have more Truths running around my noggin but nothing else is coming to mind right now. I'll post more of them as they come up.

SEEYa

Stuff

"I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."

I am so not interested in working today (Tuesday and every day following...and preceeding). I spent the weekend playing poker with Kid and, in spite of an overall loss, I find no comfort in the security of a steady job this morning. As I walked to my desk, I saw and heard all the office dwellers and was quickly reminded that I really don't belong here. There is not a single person in this place that shares any of my ideals...or at least I share none of theirs. While they all take breaks and lunches together, I consider any time away from the PC as an opportunity to separate from the herd and do a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g...because anything is better than this. In other words, I have changed nothing in my life.

I'll focus on the positive for a moment.

Last weekend was all about poker. It was the last Saturday of the month which meant poker at Paul's. This time around, Paul called folks in an attempt to garner a decent showing. It wasn't as great a turnout as we have had in the past, but its a start. 14 in the first tourney and 12 in the second. With a $50 buy-in, the payouts were still nice.

I think Kid and I have, for a long time, been the best players in Paul's game. I've been pretty consistent with several wins and cashes and Kid has broken through this year. The one thing we've been trying to do is get heads up in one of these tourneys. We figured a key component to this would be starting at separate tables. Well we finally pulled it off. In the first tourney, we got heads up and I pulled out the win. But that's not all. In the second tourney, it looked like we were on our way to another 1-on-1 battle but I fell short, finishing 3rd. Kid took second for his second second of the night...a significant feat if you ask me.

The great thing about this is that we started at the same table in each tourney. We simply played really well and managed to avoid any confrontations with each other. As far as my win over Kid...how else could it have gone down? I mean, how in the hell. I'm obviously better...

OK. I'm just kidding. Truth be told, I think it comes down to timing and luck when it gets down to us. The Kid has great poker ability and I like to think I am on par. We can both change up our games as needed or on command. Whatever different skills we have, we are very similar overall. Each one of us is equally likely to bluff or trap at any moment depending on the situation or read. He doesn't give anything away. I hope I don't either. Basically, luck was my only edge.

While we were playing out our heads-up match in the first tourney, the rest of the guys got impatient. They were playing dealer's choice on the side but were eager to get the second tourney going. Every few minutes, a different person yelled out "Chop!" or "Are you guys chopping it?" Kid had already stated that he doesn't chop. I had no intention of cutting it short since we had been looking forward to this match up for so long. So we were not keen to oblige. My response to them (mostly in jest) was, "Its not our fault you're not good enough to last longer." Everyone knows I'm always joking so no one took that badly...but they may have taken it to heart as they piped down for a while.

Kid and I were planning to drive out to Morongo Casino following poker at Paul's. After finishing the first tourney, Kid asked me if I wanted to just take off right then. He was serious. I pointed out how badly that would go over seeing as everyone had been waiting at least 30 minutes for us to finish. They could have started without us if they had known. We both found the thought of it quote funny. As we sat and laughed, it was obvious we were both thinking about really doing it for the comedic value alone. In the end, we opted to stay because we wanted to be invited back.

It was a good decision since the poker weekend started with a 1st and 2nd for me and two 2nds for Kid. We finished up at Paul's after midnight and hit the road. Next stop: Morongo. Suddenly, retardation set in. On the way to the casino, I took a wrong turn. I cruised for 30 miles until I realized at 2:45 a.m. we were not headed toward Cabazon. I also was not sure where I went wrong and needed some help. But in the middle of the night, where do you go for help? I was lucky. Fred was on vacation in Hawaii! He knows his way around So Cal and would certainly still be awake. And, fortunately, he had his cell phone on. Problem solved and we were back on track. We made it to Morongo just before 4 a.m. Oh, nothing...just an hour later than expected. But we were winging it so no big deal.

Being a holiday weekend, Kid and I were sure the poker room would still be buzzing when we arrived. It was. There were three 2-5 NLH tables running with one or two open seats at each. We decided to sit in on one that had vacancies in the 2 and 3 seats. But it wasn't long before the table broke. We moved to another table where I got the 3s again and Kid filled the 6s (I think). There was a woman in the 9s who knew very little about poker and gave plenty of action (I'll call her Sally since she was fishy). I liked having her there. But Kid was in a bad mood that was only worsened by her presence. When the 4s opened up, he moved to it to get some distance from her.

We played for about 2.5 hours during which time I turned the nut flush holding Ac-4c and rivered the bottom end of a straight-flush. I only got a small payoff from it. I also called a preflop raise and flop bet against Sally with Q-Jo on the button. I flopped a gut shot on a board of 7-8-T. My intention going in was to play looser than normal...so that's what I was doing in case you are wondering. A nine came on the turn giving me the nuts. I was rather pleased when Sally moved all-in ahead of me. Of course, I called and everyone else folded. When we turned up our cards, she still thought she was good with A-J for a jack-high straight. I raked in the chips as she stared at me in disgust. She proceed to tilt off her remaining $120 by pushing all-in UTG on the very next hand. She was called by one player with a big pair. Sally had 8-7. Time to rebuy, Sal.

I picked up a great tell on Sally and shared it Kid. He didn't get an opportunity to exploit it but I did. I took another nice pot off of her holding just A-high by coming over the top of her when she had nothing. Good times.

After a while, Kid had moved to a limit game and my table got down to four-handed. We played short-handed for a while until I lost most of my profit by betting into big pairs preflop only to lay down on the flop. Those hands did enough damage.

Kid was still in a bad mood. I know that he plays his best when he is enjoying himself. So I went over and asked if he wanted to go get something to eat. I figured any reason to get away from the poker table and change things up was a good idea. And the room had died down big time. There were only three or four tables running, all small stakes.

We hit the casino's coffee shop and ate and talked over what had gone down. Its always good to hash out poker stuff with Kid. We share insights and help eachother learn a thing or two. That seemed to work for Kid since he turned things around when we got back into action. I think we played for about five more hours. He played a little differently but it wasn't all that noticable. Whatever the change, it worked. Kid turned an early loss into an overall win. I, on the other hand, played well all night and day but came out loser for a smallish amount. Still, we both had a good time.

Currently listening to: Blind Melon -- Soup

SEEYa

Players! Play.

“Shoot pool, Fast Eddie.”
“I’m shootin’ pool, Fats. When I miss, you can shoot.”

I love that quote. Its from The Hustler. And it says a lot…not just about pool but about competition. It can be applied to any challenge where skill and ego come in to play. In the movie, Eddie is shooting pool while expounding what he has learned about ‘character’ to his former backer. All the while, Minnesota Fats sits in a chair, waiting for his turn at the table (the “hot seat” or “electric chair” in pool terminology). After patiently waiting for Eddie to vent, Fats speaks up. It is met with the stern, confident reply.

A similar situation can be witnessed in poker rooms every day and night. (I’m talking about public card rooms and casinos, not friendly home games.) Very often, players that aren’t even involved in a particular hand will chime in on a situation. This rarely helps smooth anything over or straighten out a confused matter. The result is usually three or more people yelling at each other and the dealer in three different accents while the confusion mounts. It seems there are not very many participants in card rooms with the tact to navigate player-dealer or player-player confrontations. But I rarely hear this come up as the root of the problem.

Go to any poker room, check out any poker blog, or search any poker forum and you will find players ranting about bad dealers. True, there are a great many unskilled dealers these days. But I think people are missing the mark. Dealers are there to facilitate an interaction between players. That may sound like a tall order but not if players understand that their actions tend to stretch the dealers’ job description. The basic responsibilities of a dealer include understanding the rules of the game, distributing the cards, verifying chip counts before they are dragged into the pot, identifying the winning hand(s), and transferring the chips from the pot to winner. This exists so any of us can sit at a poker table and just play.

The first extension of a dealer’s responsibilities is in maintaining the order of action in a game when it is impeded for an unusual reason. The most common reason is a lack of understanding from a player. This can be related to a “new” player who does not know all the rules to the game. The new age of poker allows for this as all dealers are enabled to explain the rules, including the basics. This situation can also arise when a player is unaware of prior action. In this case, it is the dealer’s sole responsibility to explain.

Experienced poker players should not expect dealers to monitor every participant’s conduct. Those that know their way around a particular game should act within the rules and be ready to go when action is on them. When a player is distracted or confused, it is not the dealer’s fault. But many turn their frustrations toward the dealer in such situations. Even if they were correct, it simply doesn’t help.

Here is an example that doesn’t even involve the play of a hand: I was in a game at Commerce Casino recently. I was racking up and ready to leave as it had already been a long night for me. As I was waiting to take my last free hand, the table began to thin out. We were already 7-handed when two other players got up and moved to another game. Players are not allowed to leave a short-handed table to go to any other table running the same game. However, it is up to the floor managers to control who fills empty seats. They didn’t do that in this case…floor managers screw things up on a regular basis. Suddenly, our table was 4-handed as I had already stating that I was done. The remaining players were not happy. But one, in particular, got really upset. He is a regular at Commerce (I think he is French which I only point out to describe that he has a heavy accent) who has a short fuse. He immediately went off on our dealer, demanding that he should have called a floor man. It just so happens that while it is not the dealer’s responsibility to stop players from leaving the game, he had called out for the floor. But the Frenchman, in his rage, had not noticed. He proceeded to yell at the dealer calling him a “fucking asshole” several times.

Nobody came to the dealer’s defense because no one ever does. In this case, everyone else was distracted, yelling at each other and the floor person who did show up. I had not yet left the original table so I could have stepped in between La France and Le Dealer but I knew that would only make matters worse. He would likely just turn his barrage on me. Instead, I silently showed my support and sympathy for the dealer. I stared down the Frenchman to express, “Cool it. You’re out of line.” Things could only get uglier if I were to utter such a phrase. But he paid slight notice to me, gave up, and moved on. I don’t know if the dealer understood what I was trying to do because I decided not to exchange pleasantries and just move on myself.

My point with that story is to show how aggression can be not only invalid but misplaced. One needs social skills to properly handle it. Few do.

Another instance of misplaced anger was directed at me. Again at Commerce, I was at a table with a few very aggressive players, one of whom loved action (as long as it went his way) and hated when the pace of play slowed (I’ll call him Ho…just because). I always try to act without unnecessary delay because I understand the desire to keep the game moving. But sometimes I do have to put some thought into situation before acting. In this case, I had raised a pot to $35 (5-10NLH game) with A-Q from middle position and got four callers including both blinds, an early limper, and Ho (acting behind me).

The flop came A-7-3 rainbow. Perfect. If I had missed and it was checked to me, I probably would have made a continuation bet. Since it hit me big, I would definitely bet if it was checked to me. However, the blinds checked and the limper led out for $75. The pot was $175 so this was not a particularly large bet. Nor was it so small. I would have to think about this. First of all, I didn’t know enough about this player to have any idea what he was likely to be holding. All I knew was that he played a lot of hands. I couldn’t just call the bet. I would have to raise to find out where I was and take control of the hand. Now I had to consider how much it would cost me to play it out. A good raise would have to be $150 more to $200. With about 600 in front of me, that was a large portion of my stack. If he were to call and we got heads up and he checked the turn, I still wouldn’t really know where I was but would have to bet the rest of my stack (~400). If he actually had me beat, I’m betting right into him. So it was also important to note that he had enough chips to put me all-in.

I had only been thinking for about 20 seconds and had yet to determine a range of hands for the bettor. Then Ho piped up saying, “Its on you!” I calmly glanced up and said, “I know.” “Then say ‘time’ or something!” he whined. This came as a surprise to me since I don’t have a tendency to take time on decisions. I would understand if I consistently slowed the game down but that wasn’t the case. He also had no reason to think that I might not know it was on me. I don’t wear glasses or a hat. Everyone could clearly see that I was looking at the better and the chips he had put out in front of him. He was on my immediate right so there was no room for confusion.

My reaction was to look up at him and shrug. With a wave of one hand in the air to indicate that his statement was senseless, I went back into the tank. It took only 15 seconds more (about 35 total) for me to decide to get away from the hand. I folded because I thought the bettor might have a set and it could cost my entire stack to find out.

After the hand, I thought about Ho’s brusque statement. Why did he say that? My first impression was that he just wanted the game to move along. But it was moving. In fact, everyone folded to the bettor, including Ho. We were quickly on to the next hand. The only other reason I could think of was that he wanted to tilt me. I had seem him try this with other players in the past but I always figured it wasn’t intentional. Players just seemed to tilt easily at his stupid remarks. Now I thought this may be an angle of his. No matter. It had no effect on me except to make me even more aware of him (if that was possible).

In this example of misplaced (or intentionally placed) aggression, I believe my minimal action defused a potentially heated situation. If he had said it to any other player at that table, I am sure the response would have been vocal and loud. That would certainly lead to at least a brief argument as egos clashed.

I guess that is what it all comes down to…Egos. There is so much of it around a poker table that people lose their heads. If they acted that way at work, they wouldn’t last very long. For some of them, this is their place of work…I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t last long either.

Here’s the bottom line, folks. Help out when you can. Stay out of the way when you only have emotional content to contribute. And give the dealers a break. Think about the worst dealer you’ve had and imagine that guy running a cash register at a fast food joint. If he can’t find the button for Double-Horse-Patty-with-cheese inside of a few seconds, do you really think yelling at him is going to get that grease into your veins any sooner? It will just help the line get longer behind you and lead you to a coronary on an empty stomach.

“Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.”
”So do you, Fast Eddie.”

SEEYa