Perhaps a New Outlook Will Get Me There

No longer does a day go by when I don’t think about quitting my job and playing poker full time. But there are several pieces of logic that seem to give me enough reason stay in my 9-5 rut. They are:

1) A steady pay check with medical benefits. I rarely use the benefits but it’s nice to know they are there.
2) A healthy paying job. I get paid very well, even for what I do. From what I have seen online and around me, I don’t think I will likely be able to find another company that pays as well as this one does for what I do. I only consider this on the possibility of having to re-enter the work force should the poker career not work out.
3) They pay me to do almost nothing. I’m in the office right now. That should be a good indication of how little there is for me to do. After a week of vacation, it took a whopping 10 minutes to get caught up on my email. Now I’m back to pay-to-play…sort of. As always, I can’t really complain about that.
4) I’m more skilled than almost everyone around me. That is only a plus in the job security column. (It’s also a negative because I’d rather be surrounded by people who I respect and can learn from.)

Those seem like pretty good reasons, right? They are. But I came up with them to hold myself back. To avoid possible financial failure. I’ve been living in the black for so long that I don’t know how to take risks anymore. So I have been trying to understand how other people take risks by gathering insight into how they look at it.

So far, it just appears to be a difference in personality types. I am cautious and calculating and have never been entirely on my own. While in Maui, I met several people who had uprooted and moved to the Island weeks or days after their first visit. I’ve never been able to do anything like that. The closest I ever came was in college. But even then I only went from L.A. to San Diego. I drove home a lot so I didn’t really move away. And I knew it was only temporary. When I graduated, I moved back home. Anyway, I could see myself living in Maui or Vegas but I am not likely to make such a leap. It’s just the way I am.

There was, however, a concept I picked up while on vacation. It came from one of the transplants I met. He said something along the line of “I know I’ll get what I need to survive.” I’ve heard ideas like that before but it is usually from a 12-stepper who is still trying to believe it himself. It also usually has a spiritual connotation like “God will provide.” But, this time, it was different. While he is a 12-stepper, it probably helped that this guy is a techie by trade like me. It seemed like he meant that he knows his own ability to perform and earn a living based on his own merit. I like that because I think I am capable of adapting, adopting, and improving. So I can hold my own. When push comes to shove, I will be OK.

But that is not enough to get me out the door. I need a different perspective. And I think I have found it.

What if I wanted to start a business of my own, making and selling a product that I love? (One of the down sides to my current job, or any that I’ve held, is that I am not emotionally vested.) Let’s say I know what the product is and how to make it. I also have the means to start the business, i.e. capital. All of that would put me ahead of millions of people who do not like their jobs but don’t know what else they might want to do. I wouldn’t be stuck and it would be a shame if I stayed where I was and wasted my abilities.

That is kind of where I am now. I know what I want to do and have the knowledge and means (stake) to do it. Couple that with the “I know I’ll get what I need” concept and I could go bust in 3 months but still land on my feet. I have no reason to think otherwise.

My Loyal Three know I have written about this before. But I swear I am so much closer to actually doing it. I wrote this so I won’t forget.

SEEYa