...That is a quote from Wil Wheaton. It sums up everything that I have been trying to zero in on about myself and life.
That's all. I just wanted to post that here for show and tell and future reference. I also wanted to give Wil credit for that piece of inspiration.
SEEYa
Monday, July 10, 2006
Friday, July 07, 2006
Remember...Friday is Chicken Day
I had made the decision yesterday that I would give my notice at work today, Friday. I mean I was really happy to have come to that point. I was ready to do it. I still am. But I'm not going to. Allow me to explain the circumstances.
I found myself in back-to-back meetings yesterday that would normally bore and frustrate me. Instead, I was quite relaxed knowing that I would not be doing this anymore in just over two weeks. It fealt really good.
Then my day took a somewhat tragic turn. On my way home, I was involved in an accident. A car made a left turn in front of me as she was trying to cross traffic and enter a commercial driveway. Other stopped cars gave her room to get through but there was no one in my lane. So I was cruising. Neither of us saw the other until she had pulled into my lane. She slowly came to a stop and I down-shifted and slammed on my brakes. I could see I was not going to stop in time so I quickly checked to see that the sidewalk was clear of pedestrians (there was a wall of cars on my left). I had an opening to try and make it into the driveway that she had been heading toward. letting off the brake to allow the tires to grab, I made a hard right getting as much into the driveway as I could. But her car was blocking enough that I had to send my right side up the curb just prior to the driveway.
The Bullitt slammed over the curb hard but was able to narrowly avoid contact with her car. Drifting into the parking lot, I was in an expected state of shock. I was even more shocked when the other driver pulled up next to me and stopped. She asked if I was OK. I said yes but, after looking at the right side of my car...maybe not. Both passenger side rims were damaged and the front tire flat. She thought she had done nothing wrong because the others cars had let her through. She also said she was late for class (a college student) and had to go.
At first, she didn't want to give me any of her info. She is young and inexperienced and didn't want to do anything that she shouldn't. I gave her my phone so she could call her father but she could not get a hold of him. I told her again that I needed her info. When she continued to avoid it, I indicated that we had to or "the police would have to become involved." I wasn't trying to threaten her. It was just a fact. If she tried to leave me high and dry, I would simply get her plate number and give them a call.
Fortunately, there was a man in the parking lot who saw the accident and assured her that what I was saying was correct. He was also a witness and handed me his name and number. That was a big relief right off. Eventually, she and I did exchange all our information. She also managed to contact her father. I had no problem waiting for him to arrive since I wasn't going anywhere until I changed the front wheel out for the spare. It was only for her peace of mind that I waited on him. Of course, when he finally arrived, he asked what happened and told me my damage was my fault. I said, "Is that why you came here? To tell me it's my fault?" He said a few other things as I waved him off and went to my trunk for the spare tire. And, even though it was my fault according to him, he stepped back over to me and said he would "help" me with some of the repair. Rrrrrriiiiiight.
No way, man. I know better than that. I used to be a claim investigator/adjuster. I'll get it repaired faster through my insurance and they can go after her or her insurance provider.
That night, John came over to play tennis. I told him about my plan to quit my job today. He was surprised at first but understood what I was talking about. I said I might chicken out and he replied, "You won't." That was a great vote of confidence. But he also suggested another option...ask for a leave of absence from work. I had read up on this in the HR manual but didn't really consider it a viable option. Its generally intended for people who need family leave...pregnancy or death. But, then again, it couldn't hurt to ask if I am going to quit anyway. So I'm going to do that.
However, seeing as I had to come in late today so I could take my car to a shop and get a rental, I don't think this is the best day to be requesting a LOA. I'm also feeling a little vulnerable knowing I'll have to pay for some of the repair to my car (they prorate the value of the tires based on wear). So a paycheck is a welcome concept today.
I stewed over this decision last night. Lying in bed for a couple hours, I decided to get up and check out my finances. I looked online at my bank balances and counted all the cash I had on hand. I hoped knowing exactly where I am at now and will be at in a week would help ease my mind. It did somewhat.
But I have decided to remain 100% employed for the weekend. I'm going to request LOA on Monday. If they aren't agreeable, I will give them two weeks notice. My pulse is racing a bit just thinking about it. Its a very exciting time.
SEEYa
I found myself in back-to-back meetings yesterday that would normally bore and frustrate me. Instead, I was quite relaxed knowing that I would not be doing this anymore in just over two weeks. It fealt really good.
Then my day took a somewhat tragic turn. On my way home, I was involved in an accident. A car made a left turn in front of me as she was trying to cross traffic and enter a commercial driveway. Other stopped cars gave her room to get through but there was no one in my lane. So I was cruising. Neither of us saw the other until she had pulled into my lane. She slowly came to a stop and I down-shifted and slammed on my brakes. I could see I was not going to stop in time so I quickly checked to see that the sidewalk was clear of pedestrians (there was a wall of cars on my left). I had an opening to try and make it into the driveway that she had been heading toward. letting off the brake to allow the tires to grab, I made a hard right getting as much into the driveway as I could. But her car was blocking enough that I had to send my right side up the curb just prior to the driveway.
The Bullitt slammed over the curb hard but was able to narrowly avoid contact with her car. Drifting into the parking lot, I was in an expected state of shock. I was even more shocked when the other driver pulled up next to me and stopped. She asked if I was OK. I said yes but, after looking at the right side of my car...maybe not. Both passenger side rims were damaged and the front tire flat. She thought she had done nothing wrong because the others cars had let her through. She also said she was late for class (a college student) and had to go.
At first, she didn't want to give me any of her info. She is young and inexperienced and didn't want to do anything that she shouldn't. I gave her my phone so she could call her father but she could not get a hold of him. I told her again that I needed her info. When she continued to avoid it, I indicated that we had to or "the police would have to become involved." I wasn't trying to threaten her. It was just a fact. If she tried to leave me high and dry, I would simply get her plate number and give them a call.
Fortunately, there was a man in the parking lot who saw the accident and assured her that what I was saying was correct. He was also a witness and handed me his name and number. That was a big relief right off. Eventually, she and I did exchange all our information. She also managed to contact her father. I had no problem waiting for him to arrive since I wasn't going anywhere until I changed the front wheel out for the spare. It was only for her peace of mind that I waited on him. Of course, when he finally arrived, he asked what happened and told me my damage was my fault. I said, "Is that why you came here? To tell me it's my fault?" He said a few other things as I waved him off and went to my trunk for the spare tire. And, even though it was my fault according to him, he stepped back over to me and said he would "help" me with some of the repair. Rrrrrriiiiiight.
No way, man. I know better than that. I used to be a claim investigator/adjuster. I'll get it repaired faster through my insurance and they can go after her or her insurance provider.
That night, John came over to play tennis. I told him about my plan to quit my job today. He was surprised at first but understood what I was talking about. I said I might chicken out and he replied, "You won't." That was a great vote of confidence. But he also suggested another option...ask for a leave of absence from work. I had read up on this in the HR manual but didn't really consider it a viable option. Its generally intended for people who need family leave...pregnancy or death. But, then again, it couldn't hurt to ask if I am going to quit anyway. So I'm going to do that.
However, seeing as I had to come in late today so I could take my car to a shop and get a rental, I don't think this is the best day to be requesting a LOA. I'm also feeling a little vulnerable knowing I'll have to pay for some of the repair to my car (they prorate the value of the tires based on wear). So a paycheck is a welcome concept today.
I stewed over this decision last night. Lying in bed for a couple hours, I decided to get up and check out my finances. I looked online at my bank balances and counted all the cash I had on hand. I hoped knowing exactly where I am at now and will be at in a week would help ease my mind. It did somewhat.
But I have decided to remain 100% employed for the weekend. I'm going to request LOA on Monday. If they aren't agreeable, I will give them two weeks notice. My pulse is racing a bit just thinking about it. Its a very exciting time.
SEEYa
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Some Reasons to Do It
A day later and I honestly feel closer to taking the leap. I'm thinking along a more positive track today. Here are some reasons why I should feel OK with trying that I tend take for granted:
1) I have been a consistent winner in NLH cash games over the last year and have amassed a nice little bankroll while only playing occassionally. I know I'm better than most players and have as good a chance as anyone to be successful.
2) I have friends and family that I can count on. I don't intend to let myself get down to the felt but its good to know I have people who care and will lend a hand if I ask. (Although I'm not the kind of person to borrow from anyone so I just won't let it go that far.)
3) I know many people who have jobs outside of the corporate world that pay much less than mine. They get along just fine. Hell, I used to get along just fine when I was making a third as much and living in the red. One friend in particular, my bfam, is a source of inspiration. He doesn't make a ton of money and doesn't even like his job (but he does like the people he works with...that's important). Yet he keeps on keepin' on. And he has a better attitude than I.
So its all about taking life by the throat instead of letting life stand with a foot on yours.
It also dawned on me that it would help if I disliked the people that I work for as I have in almost every job prior to this. But here, all the bosses with whom I have any contact are good people. If I still worked for DickHead, I'd be out the door before I could click 'Publish Post.'
Stay tuned. This is getting interesting.
SEEYa
1) I have been a consistent winner in NLH cash games over the last year and have amassed a nice little bankroll while only playing occassionally. I know I'm better than most players and have as good a chance as anyone to be successful.
2) I have friends and family that I can count on. I don't intend to let myself get down to the felt but its good to know I have people who care and will lend a hand if I ask. (Although I'm not the kind of person to borrow from anyone so I just won't let it go that far.)
3) I know many people who have jobs outside of the corporate world that pay much less than mine. They get along just fine. Hell, I used to get along just fine when I was making a third as much and living in the red. One friend in particular, my bfam, is a source of inspiration. He doesn't make a ton of money and doesn't even like his job (but he does like the people he works with...that's important). Yet he keeps on keepin' on. And he has a better attitude than I.
So its all about taking life by the throat instead of letting life stand with a foot on yours.
It also dawned on me that it would help if I disliked the people that I work for as I have in almost every job prior to this. But here, all the bosses with whom I have any contact are good people. If I still worked for DickHead, I'd be out the door before I could click 'Publish Post.'
Stay tuned. This is getting interesting.
SEEYa
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Perhaps a New Outlook Will Get Me There
No longer does a day go by when I don’t think about quitting my job and playing poker full time. But there are several pieces of logic that seem to give me enough reason stay in my 9-5 rut. They are:
1) A steady pay check with medical benefits. I rarely use the benefits but it’s nice to know they are there.
2) A healthy paying job. I get paid very well, even for what I do. From what I have seen online and around me, I don’t think I will likely be able to find another company that pays as well as this one does for what I do. I only consider this on the possibility of having to re-enter the work force should the poker career not work out.
3) They pay me to do almost nothing. I’m in the office right now. That should be a good indication of how little there is for me to do. After a week of vacation, it took a whopping 10 minutes to get caught up on my email. Now I’m back to pay-to-play…sort of. As always, I can’t really complain about that.
4) I’m more skilled than almost everyone around me. That is only a plus in the job security column. (It’s also a negative because I’d rather be surrounded by people who I respect and can learn from.)
Those seem like pretty good reasons, right? They are. But I came up with them to hold myself back. To avoid possible financial failure. I’ve been living in the black for so long that I don’t know how to take risks anymore. So I have been trying to understand how other people take risks by gathering insight into how they look at it.
So far, it just appears to be a difference in personality types. I am cautious and calculating and have never been entirely on my own. While in Maui, I met several people who had uprooted and moved to the Island weeks or days after their first visit. I’ve never been able to do anything like that. The closest I ever came was in college. But even then I only went from L.A. to San Diego. I drove home a lot so I didn’t really move away. And I knew it was only temporary. When I graduated, I moved back home. Anyway, I could see myself living in Maui or Vegas but I am not likely to make such a leap. It’s just the way I am.
There was, however, a concept I picked up while on vacation. It came from one of the transplants I met. He said something along the line of “I know I’ll get what I need to survive.” I’ve heard ideas like that before but it is usually from a 12-stepper who is still trying to believe it himself. It also usually has a spiritual connotation like “God will provide.” But, this time, it was different. While he is a 12-stepper, it probably helped that this guy is a techie by trade like me. It seemed like he meant that he knows his own ability to perform and earn a living based on his own merit. I like that because I think I am capable of adapting, adopting, and improving. So I can hold my own. When push comes to shove, I will be OK.
But that is not enough to get me out the door. I need a different perspective. And I think I have found it.
What if I wanted to start a business of my own, making and selling a product that I love? (One of the down sides to my current job, or any that I’ve held, is that I am not emotionally vested.) Let’s say I know what the product is and how to make it. I also have the means to start the business, i.e. capital. All of that would put me ahead of millions of people who do not like their jobs but don’t know what else they might want to do. I wouldn’t be stuck and it would be a shame if I stayed where I was and wasted my abilities.
That is kind of where I am now. I know what I want to do and have the knowledge and means (stake) to do it. Couple that with the “I know I’ll get what I need” concept and I could go bust in 3 months but still land on my feet. I have no reason to think otherwise.
My Loyal Three know I have written about this before. But I swear I am so much closer to actually doing it. I wrote this so I won’t forget.
SEEYa
1) A steady pay check with medical benefits. I rarely use the benefits but it’s nice to know they are there.
2) A healthy paying job. I get paid very well, even for what I do. From what I have seen online and around me, I don’t think I will likely be able to find another company that pays as well as this one does for what I do. I only consider this on the possibility of having to re-enter the work force should the poker career not work out.
3) They pay me to do almost nothing. I’m in the office right now. That should be a good indication of how little there is for me to do. After a week of vacation, it took a whopping 10 minutes to get caught up on my email. Now I’m back to pay-to-play…sort of. As always, I can’t really complain about that.
4) I’m more skilled than almost everyone around me. That is only a plus in the job security column. (It’s also a negative because I’d rather be surrounded by people who I respect and can learn from.)
Those seem like pretty good reasons, right? They are. But I came up with them to hold myself back. To avoid possible financial failure. I’ve been living in the black for so long that I don’t know how to take risks anymore. So I have been trying to understand how other people take risks by gathering insight into how they look at it.
So far, it just appears to be a difference in personality types. I am cautious and calculating and have never been entirely on my own. While in Maui, I met several people who had uprooted and moved to the Island weeks or days after their first visit. I’ve never been able to do anything like that. The closest I ever came was in college. But even then I only went from L.A. to San Diego. I drove home a lot so I didn’t really move away. And I knew it was only temporary. When I graduated, I moved back home. Anyway, I could see myself living in Maui or Vegas but I am not likely to make such a leap. It’s just the way I am.
There was, however, a concept I picked up while on vacation. It came from one of the transplants I met. He said something along the line of “I know I’ll get what I need to survive.” I’ve heard ideas like that before but it is usually from a 12-stepper who is still trying to believe it himself. It also usually has a spiritual connotation like “God will provide.” But, this time, it was different. While he is a 12-stepper, it probably helped that this guy is a techie by trade like me. It seemed like he meant that he knows his own ability to perform and earn a living based on his own merit. I like that because I think I am capable of adapting, adopting, and improving. So I can hold my own. When push comes to shove, I will be OK.
But that is not enough to get me out the door. I need a different perspective. And I think I have found it.
What if I wanted to start a business of my own, making and selling a product that I love? (One of the down sides to my current job, or any that I’ve held, is that I am not emotionally vested.) Let’s say I know what the product is and how to make it. I also have the means to start the business, i.e. capital. All of that would put me ahead of millions of people who do not like their jobs but don’t know what else they might want to do. I wouldn’t be stuck and it would be a shame if I stayed where I was and wasted my abilities.
That is kind of where I am now. I know what I want to do and have the knowledge and means (stake) to do it. Couple that with the “I know I’ll get what I need” concept and I could go bust in 3 months but still land on my feet. I have no reason to think otherwise.
My Loyal Three know I have written about this before. But I swear I am so much closer to actually doing it. I wrote this so I won’t forget.
SEEYa
Monday, July 03, 2006
Aloha, bitches!
I'm back. What's that? You didn't know I was gone? Well that's probably because I didn't write about my vacation before leaving. I spent a week in Maui and did mostly nothing. It was glorious.
Each day I woke up around 10am (I love living without an alarm clock) and started things off with a complimentary breakfast buffet. Then I headed back to my room and let the food settle for about half an hour before going to work out. The resort's fitness center is the best I have ever seen in a hotel. And the lack of other people in the gym made my time in there like a vacation within a vacation. After working out, I lied on the beach or poolside for 1 or 2 hours. Oh, man, am I ever tanned.
It was everything I had hoped for...and less (in this case, less is more). But now I'm back at work. As I expected...still nothing for me to do. And with most people having taken the day off to make for a 4-day weekend (including July 4 tomorrow), I won't be hanging around here for long. This evening, I'll be off to Scott's house to see my godson and watch fireworks.
I've already written more than I had expected since I'm not really in a writing mood. But I intend to resume later and go into detail about my time on Maui. Oh, yeah... I will also be writing about a poker tourney/party for my friend Jeff's 30th. Kid and Joe were there and we played cards 'til the sun came up.
SEEYa
Each day I woke up around 10am (I love living without an alarm clock) and started things off with a complimentary breakfast buffet. Then I headed back to my room and let the food settle for about half an hour before going to work out. The resort's fitness center is the best I have ever seen in a hotel. And the lack of other people in the gym made my time in there like a vacation within a vacation. After working out, I lied on the beach or poolside for 1 or 2 hours. Oh, man, am I ever tanned.
It was everything I had hoped for...and less (in this case, less is more). But now I'm back at work. As I expected...still nothing for me to do. And with most people having taken the day off to make for a 4-day weekend (including July 4 tomorrow), I won't be hanging around here for long. This evening, I'll be off to Scott's house to see my godson and watch fireworks.
I've already written more than I had expected since I'm not really in a writing mood. But I intend to resume later and go into detail about my time on Maui. Oh, yeah... I will also be writing about a poker tourney/party for my friend Jeff's 30th. Kid and Joe were there and we played cards 'til the sun came up.
SEEYa
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